Friday, September 10, 2010

Crucial Online Dating Tips For Men

February 24, 2010 by  
Filed under Dating Tips For Men

No matter what your age, height, weight or physical appearance, there are thousands of women out there eager to meet you and eager for your company…whether short-term or long-term relationships are what you want.  If you have found yourself suddenly “on-the-market” again after a relationship has dissolved or are just too busy with your work to spend a lot of time looking for a lady to keep you company, online dating can open the door to the dating scene for you.

The good news is that all you need is a computer and an internet connection to get started.  The first thing to do is find an online dating site that fits your needs.  There are the large sites that offer many extras like live video chat and even match you up with ladies using your profiles and, also, a lot of sites that cater to special interests like religious preferences, outdoor enthusiasts, gays, etc. You need to choose one or two that will meet your needs.  I don’t recommend the free sites.  The paid sites have a money back guarantee if you aren’t satisfied and the investment is small.  A whole month costs less than one dinner and movie date.

The next thing you need to do is write a killer, but honest, profile and upload a recent but flattering picture of yourself.   Now you are all set.  Start contacting ladies whose profiles sound interesting to you and answer any lady who contacts you…and do so promptly…not, however, on holidays or weekends.  You don’t want to appear that desperate.  Don’t give up after a month and think you will never find the right lady for you.  New people join online dating services daily and at least half of them are ladies many, of whom, will want to meet you.

Online Dating Safety For Men

Almost everything you read about online dating safety is directed at women but men need to be concerned as well.  Perverts, sexual predators and weirdoes come in both sexes, all sizes, and all ages…as do, liars and cheaters.  So men need to stay on guard, too.

It is common knowledge not to readily give out personal information to strangers.  The reason for not doing so is as large as the number of strangers who want that information.  If you come across a person who is giving out personal information and asking others to do the same, don’t do it.  You don’t know what they want to use it for….and you had better believe they want to use it for something.  That “something” will not be for your benefit.  Men, also, need to guard their real names, addresses, phone numbers, and place of employment.  Do not give that information to anyone online until you are confident that they are who they say they are.

Men, be wary of women who seem too financially needy.  If they ask for money, in any of a dozen ways women can ask for money, cut the relationship off immediately.  They are not looking for love or even friendship….they are looking for financial help.

If a woman gives you a contact number but you cannot ever reach her at that number, beware.  If you always have to page them or text them and have them call you back, this could be a sign that what they are telling you is not the complete truth.

A need to get married and insecurity are other signs men should be very wary of.  If the woman is pushing too hard for a commitment you aren’t ready to make, it might be a good time to head for the nearest exit.

Nice Guys Do It Too!

I’m talking about online dating, of course. When the phenomenon of online dating sites started several years ago, they were a haven for perverts, sexual predators, nerds, and weirdoes of assorted varieties.

That is just no longer the case. All the stigma of online dating is gone.  Online dating has gone main stream and is, not only acceptable, but expected. Online dating has become the primary tool of single people of all ages to generate an interesting and rewarding social life.

Let’s face it…we are busy guys. We just simply do not have the time, the energy, or the financial where-with-all to date several nights each week while we look for the “one”. You can sort through hundreds of profiles in a month for less money than you would spend on one evening out, thus, saving time and money. We use the internet to save ourselves time and money for a lot of things like investments, shopping, medical information, and communications.

Why not make use of such a useful tool for our social and personal lives as well? You could find the love of your life. At the very least, you will meet some interesting people and possibly make some lasting friendships.  It’s easy to get started. All you need is a computer and an internet connection. You’ll need to search for online dating services that meet your specific needs. They are many and varied.

Join one or two. Then you’ll need to write a great profile, upload a recent picture of yourself and start making and answering contacts. That really is all there is to it…that and patience.

Don’t wait any longer to start your new and interesting social life.  Miss or Ms. “Right” could be only a few clicks of the mouse away.

Common Online Dating Mistakes

Online Dating Can Be Tough
Here’s a little secret that those of the female persuasion keep from us guys:  Women, even very beautiful women, like to be approached by a confident and interesting man.  Are you surprised?  It’s true…and confident and interesting are much more important than looks to ladies of all ages, too. That’s true for internet dating, as well as, dating in your brick and mortar world but we’re talking about internet dating here…so back to the subject at hand.

Once you have joined an online dating service, you will find that there a lot more men than women and that the men are much more likely to browse profiles and make initial contacts than women.  Yes, it’s a woman’s world…still.  It’s “traditional” for men to make the first move.  It always has been and it always will be. Some things never change. That’s why your profile and picture are so important.

Remember…confident and interesting….and that does not translate to cocky and self-centered. It’s important that your profile lets people know that you have friends you care about and that you are passionately interested in a variety of things…not JUST sports. Another thing about that all-important profile….please don’t start it with, “I’m the guy your mama warned you about”.

You will have just shot yourself in the foot with that line.  Another one to never use is, “I could be the man of your dreams”.  The lady HOPES you are but she will be the judge of that…so don’t insult her intelligence. Remember….exude confidence and interesting and you will find that lady you have been looking for…or she will find you.

Won’t it be nice to have the ladies contacting you instead of you having to do everything?  If you write a great profile that stands out in the crowd, that will happen.

3 Online Dating Mistakes to Avoid

While you search the internet for that special lady…the one of your dreams…your soul-mate…the other half of yourself, you can do a lot of things right.  Sadly, you can, also, do a lot of things wrong….things that will guarantee failure and a broken heart.   Out in the “real” world, being aggressive, demanding perfection and even little white lies are all ingredients for success.  However, those same qualities are killers when you are dating online and off line, too, for that matter.

There is a big difference between being aggressive or confident and being too aggressive, over-confident, or just plain sleazy or slimy from a woman’s point of view. If you push too hard for a face-to-face, you will come across as too aggressive…maybe even, scary.  Try to remember that you are not trying to close a business deal and keep the relationship progressing at a slow but steady pace.  Patience is the key.

Nobody is perfect.  We are all flawed in some way or another…and that includes you, as well.  If you expect the woman to be absolutely perfect and demand that, you will always be disappointed.  Demanding perfectionism in your work is one thing.  Demanding perfectionism from a friend, co-worker or a lady you are interested in is not just fine.  It won’t happen.  Expect flaws and just deal with them.  Decide the ones you can live with and those you can’t.

Little white lies and false fronts won’t work.  Be honest from the beginning of a relationship.  Write your profile.  Make it interesting but don’t make false statements.  The truth will come out eventually anyway.  If you say you are a lawyer who makes a million bucks a year and you are really an electrician that makes $75,000, you have set yourself up for failure.

Remember…don’t be too aggressive, expect to ever find perfection or put on a false front.

Men – Where To Find Ms Perfect

Waiting to Meet Ms. Perfect?

It must be really tough. Do you think you are just a victim of bad luck and that’s the reason Ms. Perfect hasn’t appeared in your life yet? Or have you decided that maybe Ms. Perfect only exists on movie screens and not out here in the real world? BINGO! You’ve got it. She doesn’t exist anywhere except in your imagination and on movie screens.

The truth of the matter is that the reason Ms. Perfect hasn’t appeared has nothing to do with your luck, good or bad, but everything to do with you and the fact that you are busy looking for a person that doesn’t exist! You can’t date with your eyes closed and some impossible dream in your head. You’ll get so caught up in this whole exercise of dating that you forget to look for the qualities you seek! You haven’t met the person of your dreams because you aren’t looking for the things that will make them close enough to perfect for you.

You are so confident that every woman you have met could not give you what you wanted. But what was it that you wanted in the first place? Once you are sure of what you want, you will know exactly what to look for in your woman. What are the qualities that you feel are necessary in a person? What are the attributes you are willing to make a compromise on? Have you thought about all these?

Remember, that nobody on this earth is perfect. Everybody has faults…some are bigger faults than other faults. Some are faults you can overlook and some are faults that you couldn’t overlook on your best day and if she was the most beautiful, most sexy woman on the planet.

When you meet a woman, remember, however hard you try to impress others, you cannot control their thought processes. Instead, it’s far better to concentrate on your needs and desires, and how much of what you need would be fulfilled if you dated this woman.

Places to Meet Women to Date

Meeting women that you would actually want to date and, maybe eventually, bring home to meet mom and dad, isn’t as hard as it sounds. There is, of course, the singles scene out in the bars and clubs all over town but I don’t recommend that one. It’s not that just bad girls go to bars; it’s that it is hard to tell the good ones from the bad one.

You meet women at work, too, but, there again, I don’t recommend dating them. The problem with that is that, if things don’t work out, you will still have to work together and the situation could be awkward to say the least.

Your friends know women that you haven’t met – sisters, cousins, etc. Ask them to introduce you to them. But, big brother, do avoid blind dates. Those things hardly ever work out and you can spend a lot of money for a very uncomfortable evening.

The best places to meet women that you might actually want to date are at clubs and organizations that you belong to. You will already have something in common with them and will have had the opportunity to see them interact with other people and that tells you a lot about a person. If you aren’t already involved with any clubs or organizations the, for heaven sakes, join some. Find ones that are all about something you are interested in. There are clubs and organizations that cover just about anything you can think of from astronomy to zoology and single women are involved in all of them.

Church is an excellent place to meet women. If there aren’t any single women in the church you go to now, visit other churches until you find one where there are single women. The church itself will provide you with an opportunity to get to know the woman before you ask her for a date.  You will be a lot more comfortable and so will she.

Get involved in civic organizations. Women love men who are civic minded. They admire men who are willing to “give back”.  And what about political campaigns? You will meet a lot of young women who are passionate about politics.

If all else fails, join a good online dating service. You will meet a lot of eligible women. You can read their profiles and see pictures of them. After you get to know one well enough to ask her for a face-to-face meeting, be sure that you plan the meeting during daylight hours and in a public place.

What Men Should Think About On Their Date

Setting the Mood with Your Date

Nothing makes for a more romantic gesture than one that is made purely for the sake of romance itself. When it comes to seducing a woman if you want to make a really great impression on us then you’ll want to pull out all the stops and create a romantic date without waiting for a special occasion. Not to mention there’s no rule that says you have to wait for a certain day or time.

This particular tip requires knowing a bit about your lady and what she likes and doesn’t like. But you don’t have to know her like the back of your hand in order to make a truly romantic evening for the two of you to share. The most important thing is to consider what you know she finds romantic and then do your best to create that for her. The very fact that you thought of her and wanted to romance her out of the blue will really impress her and make her feel truly special.

Many of these suggestions would take relatively little time for preparation. Remember, it’s sometimes the smallest gesture that will really make a woman feel special. The first romantic setting is a candlelit picnic in a park or other quiet location. This is sure to make your lady feel special. There’s no special occasion needed. This is also easy to put together with a bottle of wine, some cheese, strawberries, whatever the two of you like.

If you have a portable CD player you can bring that along with a disc of romantic music and you’ll have an evening that the both of you are sure to remember. Just don’t forget to check the weather and be sure to bring the blanket!

The next suggestion I have is good for any weather, a nice candlelit meal consisting of her favorite foods and dessert at your place. When you’re planning this evening be sure to have soft, romantic music on and a nice bottle of wine. Her favorite flowers would be an extra nice touch. This meal could be prepared by you or ordered and picked up from a restaurant.

As long as you’ve taken care to choose what she likes it’s sure to be a huge hit! If your place tends to be a bit messy, be sure to take the extra bit of time to clean it up so that she’s not tripping over your tennis shoes or gym bag.

Find Out As Much As You Can From Your Date

Getting to know that special woman is about the time you spend with her, and about what you get from communication, both verbal and physical. And the more you know, the better your chances. Thus if you plan to keep your relationship moving forward, you are going to have to find out as much as you can about her.

After all, the last thing you want to do is to upset her. That’s a surefire way to kill your chances for romance. First, make sure you give her a chance not only to speak, but to start conversations as well. There is really no better way to get to know her than through the interaction you’ll have with her in conversation. What you learn through all of this communication will serve as a great starting point, from which you can move on to the following suggestions to fill in any blanks in your knowledge of her.

The point of all of this is to get to know as much as you can about your woman as an individual. So many people think that all women or all men like the same things, which simply is not true.

Although there are a good number of things that a lot of women have in common, there are an equal number of things that they don’t have in common, either. The same can be said for men. For example, if a woman were to assume that all men love football then she’d be dead wrong! Likewise, a man would be wrong to assume that all women love cats. Each woman is unique, so you must take the time to find out what she, as a unique person, really wants before you can seduce her.

Ultimately, it all comes back to what you can learn about her for yourself. While it is helpful to get a few tips from her friends, family, and acquaintances, too much of this type of fact-finding will make her feel more like a suspect in an investigation. So it’s back to what you can find out for yourself. And the best possible way to do that is to get her in different settings and see what happens.

What to Talk About on a Date

I’m sure you want your date to have fun and you want to have fun, too! You want to ensure that the conversation is interesting and stimulating to both of you.

Body language always speaks first in any conversation. When you are confident your body relaxes, becomes more open, you lean in, you smile, and you become more animated. When you are tense or not at ease with yourself, you will be sitting back, crossing your legs, maybe your arms, your mouth will barely break a smile, and your eyes will be searching elsewhere in the room. Knowing this will allow you to convey confidence with your body language.

Your verbal dating conversation skills will largely be judged on how able you are to create a conversation that your partner enjoys. Ultimately, that leads to you getting more dates. If you’re thinking this is obvious, yes it is! The question is HOW to create an interesting conversation.

Your dating conversation will be made up of you both asking and answering questions. If you ask the right questions, your partner is going to have fun. If you ask the wrong questions, they are going to ditch you. If you are evasive or less than honest when answering her questions, she is going to ditch you quicker.

Questions are powerful. Funny thing is that when a person is asked a direct question they somehow feel obligated to answer it. Here are some conversation starter question ideas for your first date:

“What do you love to do in your spare time?”
“What do you particularly enjoy about that?”
“If you could go on a fantasy holiday, anywhere in the world, where would it be and what would you do?”

By asking these questions you will cause your date to recall pleasant past experiences and share them with you.

Where to Go on Your First Date

That is an age-old question. Cave men had it made. They firmly believed in kidnapping and taking their date to a filthy cave out in the middle of nowhere. Those were what was known as the good old days. Now days first date destinations and plans are a little trickier. First let’s cover where NOT to go on a first date.

The old standby of dinner and a movie is a really poor choice for a first date. How will you get to know the lady if you are sitting in a darkened theater with a movie being shown? If you choose the movie, there is probably going to be a lot of frantic car chases and a lot of blood involved. Neither are conducive to creating a memorable evening.

Also, don’t take your date to your parent’s house! She will know right away that you are a mama’s boy and you will never see her again.

Don’t take your date to a sleazy bar with a motel out back. You will scare the poor woman to death. She will jump out of the car and hitchhike back to town believing that she would be safer with a burly truck driver than with you.
Now, some good first date ideas are:

Begin with a simple lunch or coffee date. You want to keep the date casual so suggesting meeting up for lunch or coffee can be a good start. This way, if the date didn’t go so well, you can end the date there but if you enjoy each other company, you have the rest of the day to spend getting to know each other better.

Here are some ideas of where to go if the lunch or coffee date tells you’re there is some good chemistry happening:

If it is the season, an amusement park or a theme park is a good first date idea. It doesn’t matter how old you are, we can all be big kids at heart. There’re so much you can do at amusement parks and theme parks that most likely you will forget about the dating pressure and just have fun.

Most well populated areas have an array of museums covering many different subjects. Visiting one that is dedicated to something that you have in common with the woman is another good first date idea.

Some Things Men Must Know About Women

The Art of Seducing a Woman

Understanding what a woman is looking for in a man is the first secret to seducing a woman. For many men, the concept of how to seduce a woman is simply a mystery. It’s understandable, though. Men and women differ in so many ways that it’s difficult for many of us to really grasp how to get inside the mind of the opposite sex.

The true key to seducing a woman isn’t a mere laundry list to check off, step by step. It’s more a guidebook on the path you must follow to completely seduce a woman, mind, body and soul. And believe it or not, what really gets a woman going is much simpler than you may have ever imagined.

Understanding the differences between the sexes will help give you a better foundation on which to build your knowledge of women. Once you can get inside her mind, it’s all downhill from there.

Communication is ultimately the most important aspect in seducing a woman. Like so many other aspects of our lives, effective communication is the key to success. You want to take the time to really get to know her and what she’s looking for. This will benefit you greatly when it comes to pleasing her, so don’t think that getting to know your woman is a pointless, grueling task of learning a bunch of useless information.

Patience when seducing your woman is equally important, too. Being in a hurry will only prove to damage any good you could’ve done by learning anything at all about your woman. When it comes to seducing a woman, take it slow. We want a man to take his time, not just rush in for the brass ring. A woman wants to know that you aren’t just playing her for sex. And the best way to prove yourself is to take your time.

All in all, women want to feel special. Being romantic makes us feel special. So if you want to seduce your woman you have to be romantic. It proves that you care, that you want to please her and that you know how to treat a woman right. Romance will take you a long way in seducing a woman.

Building Your Confidence in Dating Women

When it comes to dating (or even seducing) a woman, confidence is vital. Women often equate “self confidence” with the ability to be successful. While many men believe that women look for successful men because they’re likely to make more money, that’s simply not true.

While it’s a given, women actually look for successful men because they’re more likely to be satisfied. So you may be wondering what a man being satisfied has to do with anything. Let me explain. You see, women know that men who are satisfied with themselves are less likely to go out looking for someone to satisfy them and are more stable.

And in a relationship that means a man will be less likely to cheat, or change jobs frequently or get himself into any number of other compromising situations. Remember that most women are looking for a man who will be their partner as well as their lover.

Not only do they want a partner when it comes to things like companionship, decision-making and finances, but in the bedroom, as well. In order to effectively seduce a woman you must make her feel as though you’re both equals.

When it comes to confidence, it seems there are two kinds of people – those who have it and others who simply don’t. Although on the surface this may be true, everyone has the potential to be “self confident”, or motivated if you would like to call it.

Take heart in knowing that you’re a good person, smart, funny, good at your job, loving, considerate or whatever else you find to be positive character traits that you have. Be comforted to know that NOT all women are looking for a CEO or brain surgeon. They just want a man who’s confident with who he is, what he knows and what he has to offer to a relationship with them!

Know What to Look for in a Woman

Sometimes, knowing what you’re looking for in a woman can be quite difficult. And if you’re one of them, don’t get discouraged. It truly isn’t as difficult as you may think to find the right woman for you.

The very first thing you must do is resign to be very open-minded. You need to cast aside all the standards that you may have been using and start from scratch.  Forget what all your buddies say is attractive. Never mind what you see in the lingerie commercials on television. You’ll want to start with the very basics of what makes two people compatible, not two lovers, but two people in general, in order to find what kind of person works for you.

In order to find out what you are really looking for in a woman, you need to take the time to consider the complete person, not just the body. You need to take into consideration things like personality, interests, ambition and then looks. You’re probably wondering why I listed those traits in the order I did.

If you consider looks first it will tend to cloud your judgment on all the other traits. Men tend to be very easily visually stimulated. For this reason, what excites them at first sight tends to be what they think they want.

However, if you consider what you want in the other areas, the looks may not be so important. You may find that a woman with a great personality that likes football and racing as much as you do and who takes her career as a human resources director seriously, but who happens to be a brunette with only an average build, would suit you just fine. Personality, intelligence, ambition, sense of humor and interests play a much bigger role in attraction than just physical appearance.

Why You Should Not Judge a Woman by Her Looks

I know this tip may sound very cliché, but it’s true. At some point or another we’re all guilty of judging something, or someone, based on appearance alone. While it’s not right, we still seem to have that tendency to be superficial. This type of behavior can be very detrimental when it comes to seducing a woman. Women like to be appreciated for who they are, not what they look like. Even those women who have great physical beauty don’t necessarily want to be judged on that characteristic alone.

Women keep the thought in the back of their mind that one day they may want to have a child. If and when they become pregnant, look at all the changes their body goes through. The mere fact that their body has to expand at a very rapid pace to accommodate the growth of the baby is frightening. And the knowledge that their figure may never be the same is equally frightening.

Another thought that women have is that eventually we all get older and less youthful in appearance. We know that in general, a man is considered more distinguished looking when his hair takes on the salt and pepper look, whereas women merely look old. A few wrinkles on a man are no big deal, but for women the first sign of a wrinkle is cause to consider botox treatment, or more. Society has made women terribly self conscious. Bear in mind when considering what you truly believe is important in a woman. If looks is top on your list it will surely lead to a very dissatisfying experience for you, and your woman.

I’m not trying to say that you have to resolve to be happy with someone you find utterly unattractive. Women all have preferences in looks, personality and many other traits that we have to abide by. It’s a matter of compatibility. But what women do have to take into consideration is that attraction is not just a matter of physical appearance. So take the time to find out what’s inside before you discount women based on what’s outside.

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