Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Flirting Online – A New Artform

February 24, 2010 by  
Filed under Online Dating Tips, Relationship Tips

Many of the same things work for online flirting that work for “brick and mortar” flirting and all relationships begin with successful flirting.  Flirting is an art that requires oozing confidence without being OTT.  If you go too far, she will label you “slimy” If you don’t go far enough, she will label you “wimpy”.  So how do you achieve that point half way between slimy and wimpy and do it online without using eye contact or body language?  All you have is a computer an internet connection and membership in an online dating site, right?

1. Have fun!  Be light-hearted, funny and entertaining.  Make her eager to talk to you again.  Flirting is playful.

2. Ooze confidence.  Successful flirts have a positive outlook on life.  You need to transmit the “feel good” factor.  An optimistic attitude attracts females like honey attracts flies.

3. 3.  Compliment her…and do it often and sincerely.  Nothing opens doors like making her feel good about herself.  She will want to spend more time with you and if she pays you a compliment say “thank you”.  Do Not be self depreciating.

4. Listen…listen….listen.  Pay attention to what she says and ask appropriate questions.  Get her to open up and talk about herself.  Make her feel like she is interesting and that you are interested in her.  Works wonders!

5. Don’t be rude.  Flirting does not include being sexually explicit nor taking offence if the lady isn’t responding to you. If she isn’t interested, take the hint and move on to the next prospect.  If you get a lot of rejections, you should probably consider a different approach.

6. Send an email after you chat.  This ranks right up there with sending a thank you note for a gift and it is vital to successful flirting.

Don’t try to go too fast.  Flirting is the first step to a successful relationship.

Online Dating is Not a Contest
Online dating is not a competition between competing males for the attention of a female.  Grow up.  Change your mind set from “winning” to “searching”.  This isn’t high school.  You are all grown up and have been for quite some time, now.  Your attitude is the most important asset you have.  You should like yourself and not concentrate of all of the things that aren’t YOUR idea of the perfect guy…the one the all women want.

What is that women want, you ask?  That’s the age old question.  Being of the female persuasion myself, I can tell you a few things women want and don’t want.

Women want a man to be confident…NOT an arrogant jerk.  There’s a big difference.  You need to like yourself and not be self depreciating but you don’t need to come across like you believe that you are a gift to them from God and have just fallen from the sky.  They don’t want you to think that THEY just fell from heaven and are some kind of perfect being, either.  They can’t live up to that expectation.

Women want a communicator. The “strong silent type” really isn’t appealing at all.   They think you probably don’t have an original thought in your head and you probably haven’t heard a word they said, either or that you just don’t care what they said or didn’t even hear what they said.  They want you to be interesting enough to want to know more about you and they want you to think that they are interesting enough to ask intelligent questions about what is important to them, too.

Women do NOT want to be a prize to be won.  They don’t want to be a trophy. They want to be the ONE woman that you want to be with.

Flirting The Right Way (And How To Be Romantic)

How to Flirt Effectively
Men and women flirt differently, for different reasons and expect different outcomes to the flirting. However, if you put aside that outcome and flirt just to be friendly you are opening yourself to different opportunities. You may well end up with a new lover but if that doesn’t work out you could meet someone who becomes a good friend and who knows who she might introduce you to. Keep your options open.

After you have exchanged glances and smiles across a room and you are fairly confident that SHE thinks that she might like to get to know you better, send a drink to her. But remember that ALL you are buying is a drink. Don’t expect her to fall at your feet. Sometimes it is nice just to send someone a drink, watch when she receives it and smile, then look away – look back again later to show your interest.

If you find yourself invited to her table, keep you mind on the conversation and not on getting a date with her. Most women want to know what kind of person they are going out with long before they actually go out with them. Make an effort to get to know her and give her the opportunity to get to know you before diving in for a date.

Do not ever approach two women in the same group. No woman wants to feel like second best. Refrain from approaching one after another in the same group. You look like a loser and the women may think you are desperate and looking for any port in a storm. Even if you are, don’t show it.

When you compliment a woman make certain that it is a genuine compliment. There’s nothing worse than someone giving out a load of overblown lines. Everyone has something great about them, notice that and compliment them genuinely.

Do not ever put your hands on a woman uninvited. Some women have no objection to ‘touchy feely’ encounters, others are horrified by it. Respect the person until you have had the opportunity to know more about her. Touching can be a lovely flirty action, but should be confined to the arms or resting the hand just above the arms and NOT touching, until you know more. Test the personal space by moving closer, noticing the reactions then moving back a little to remove the threat.

Respect yourself at all times. Women always fall for men who are that little bit unreachable. Don’t hover or grovel or act desperate. Think of yourself as special and know what you deserve the very best.

How to be Romantic

What is it exactly that makes a woman see a man as romantic? Most of the time it’s the little things that women notice A glance, a quick touch or brush across her back. Sure, flowers are nice, but haven’t they almost become a cliché. That’s not to say women don’t like flowers because they do, but if that’s all you’ve got then it will only go so far. You have to mix it up, change your style and use your imagination to create romantic moments.

The key factor in creating romantic moments is to put the lady’s likes ahead of your own.

Creating romantic moments is so easy it’s a wonder every man in the world doesn’t “get” this. All you have to do is think of an activity built around something she likes to do. Does she like shopping (not something men even like to think about much less do), fine dining, walks on a beach, watching movies and the list goes on.

It’s all about doing something she likes with her. What will make such activities seem even more romantic to her is if you choose to do something she likes to do with her when a ball game is on TV that you could be watching with your buddies. She will feel chosen…and that, sir, is VERY romantic indeed.

It doesn’t matter which activity to choose to participate in with the woman that you want to think of you as romantic. The trick is for you to be totally involved mentally in the activity and not staring off into space or obviously just wishing it were over so you could go do what you really want to do. Remember this is you trying to be romantic so concentrate on the project at hand.

It really is so very easy to create romantic moments. With only a little thinking and planning, romantic moments can happen every day and at the most unexpected moments. Being romantic is a win/win situation. There is no reason not to make romantic moments happen at every opportunity.

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